RevGalBlogPals Friday Five: Fresh Starts and Covenants

Over at RevGals, Sally writes:  As I prepare this post I am aware that it will be posted on New Years Day. We stand at the beginning of 2010 looking not only at a New Year, but at a new decade full of promise and possibilities. For some of us this will be exciting, but others will approach it with trepidation and probably most of us stand on this threshold with a mix of emotions and reactions.

It is at this time of year that many (British) Methodist Churches celebrate their Annual Covenant Service, a service that will include this prayer:

I am no longer my own but yours,
Put me to what you will,
rank me with whom you will;
put me to doing,
put me to suffering;
let me be employed for you,
or laid aside for you,
exalted for you,
or brought low for you;
let me be full,
let me be empty,
let me have all things,
let me have nothing:
I freely and wholeheartedly yield all things
to your pleasure and disposal.
And now glorious and blessed God,
Father , Son and Holy Spirit,
you are mine and I am yours.
May it be so forever.
Let this covenant now made on earth
be fulfilled in heaven. AMEN

This prayer is said every year, and offers every member an opportunity to renew their covenant with God. This is no soft or easy prayer, it states in the company of others our willingness to worship God come what may, not that we should become doormats, but that we place God above all else. ( And every year if we are honest we have to acknowledge that we fail).

With this prayer in mind I bring you this Friday Five:


1. What will you gladly leave behind in 2009?  For the most part, this has not been a difficult year.  We did, however, experience two sets of interviews with congregations as potential new calls for us.  Neither process quite followed the defined procedure, leaving us disappointed on many levels.  I do not object to having these experiences in my past!

2. What is the biggest challenge of 2010 for you?  I suspect that at least one of my biggest challenges will be to find a way to remain spiritually healthy while serving a difficult congregation.  It is challenging for me to remember that God's will can be done even in the face of humans who resist it.

3. Is there anything that you simply need to hand to God and say "all will be well, for you are with me"?  Yes and it includes everything connected to the call process for Don and me.

4. If you could only achieve one thing in 2010 what would it be?  I'm hoping to re-commit myself to my weight-loss plan.  I've stuck with Weight Watchers so I haven't re-gained any of my pounds, I haven't been consistent in counting points and losing weight. 

5. Post a picture, poem or song that sums up your prayer for the year ahead.... 

A video and the song lyrics



You are Mine
By David Haas

I will come to you in the silence
I will lift you from all your fear
You will hear My voice
I claim you as My choice
Be still, and know I am near

I am hope for all who are hopeless
I am eyes for all who long to see
In the shadows of the night,
I will be your light
Come and rest in Me

Chorus:
Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow Me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine

I am strength for all the despairing
Healing for the ones who dwell in shame
All the blind will see, the lame will all run free
And all will know My name

Chorus:
Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow Me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine

I am the Word that leads all to freedom
I am the peace the world cannot give
I will call your name, embracing all your pain
Stand up, now, walk, and live

Chorus:
Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow Me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine

Summary of a Week

Mommy to Jason, who is snuggling on my lap, "Are you good?"

Jason's response, as usual, "Yes."

At the same time that I respond, "Yes, you're always good!  I love you," Mimi shouts an answer to the question I'd asked my son, "Sometimes!"  (Thanks for always pointing out my imperfections, Mimi!)

How about this exchange?  Jason was chatting a mile a minute (as is his custom) as he played with his toys.  At some point, he did something (I have no idea what) that caused Mimi to say, "Boy, her really is in the 'terrible fours,' isn't he?"  (Lovely thing to say right in front of your grandson, right?)

"Nope," I said, "He's just four.  It's a good age."

She must've read the frustration in my response because she immediately back-tracked and said, "No, you're right.  He's not terrible."

These kinds of comments do not need to be made in front of my son.  And aren't they just filled with grandmotherly love?  (Note:  That's a sarcastic--and rhetorical--question.)

These sorts of exchanges took place on a daily basis, making for a long week!

Respect is Earned!

Santa brought my son a plastic candy cane filled with Hershey's Kisses.  Jason finally decided that he wanted to snack on some last night.  Mimi asked him if he wanted to share and he replied, "No, thank you.  Santa gived-ed them to me."

I reminded her that there was a bowl filled with other chocolates on the kitchen counter and offered them to her.  "No," she said, "if Jason won't share, I'll do without."  (How's that for an attempt to manipulate a four-year-old?)

So what happened after Jason went to bed? 

My mother walks over to the dining room table, where I've left Jason's candy and says, "Now that he's in bed, I'm stealing some of Jason's kisses," and proceeded to take several of them from his tube.

I was angry but chose to bite my tongue rather than argue with her about it.  Sigh.  Seems that, since Jason's "only" a child, he's expected to give respect to his grandmother, whether or not it is returned.

And this is the end of the week wherein she's accused him of 'arguing' with her at ever turn.  No matter what he says, though, she argues with him.  He told her we were having turkey for dinner on Christmas (he actually 'helped' me prepare it for the oven) and she "teased" him by telling him that we were having ham because that's her favorite.  When he insisted that we were having turkey, she said, "You're arguing with me." 

Sure, it's "all in fun," until he really does argue with her about something like taking his toys out of the tub after bathtime.

How do you expect him to respect you, when you're not showing respect for him?

Dr. Seuss says, "A person's a person, no matter how small."  I agree with that philosophy and am working to teach my son to respect others by respecting him.  My kid, my choice.  I've used those words so often with my mother that she's begun using them to me, "Your kid, your choice.  I know," she'll say.....always making it clear that she's not happy with my choice.  Sigh, again.

Today we head to Pittsburgh so that we're certain that she makes tomorrow's flight home.  It's good news!

My Letter to Ohio

Dear XXXX,

After spending a great deal of time in discernment and prayer, I am writing to thank you for the opportunity to interview with your congregation. I appreciate your confidence in offering me a call to serve among you, but I do not feel that I can accept it.

One of my biggest concerns is the unjust compensation package that I was offered. I am simply unwilling to accept anything less than what the synod guidelines recommend, given my education and experience. Because you have given me no indication that you are willing to meet the guidelines, I am not interested in continuing our conversations.

I will hold you in prayer as you continue to seek a pastor.

Yours in Christ,
Me

*****************

Money is not the only reason that I'm refusing the call; it is, however, the primary reason with relation to the congregation.  My other reasons are connected to family issues, primarily the fact that my husband has interviewed with two nearby congregations, neither of which created excitement in him--and neither of which was excited about him.  We've decided that, since other options in the area are very limited, we are not willing to take the risk of having him unemployed and unhappy for an indefinite period of time.

I simply do not feel compelled to list personal reasons for refusing this call.  At the same time,and with the support of the Assistant to the Bishop, I do feel that the congregation does need to realize that financial compensation is a justice issue.

Sigh.

Now to figure out how on earth I can stay healthy here............

Another Ohio Update

As I write this, I'm awaiting a call from the Assistant to the Bishop.  I've had conversations with the president of the congregation council (J) and with the chair of the call committee (T).  The financial package they're offering is not only below the synod guidelines, but it would be a reduction from what I currently earn. The compensation package is about $8000 below synod guidelines and is nearly $5000 less than my current salary. 

When I expressed that concern to J, he indicated that we can negotiate when I come out for a visit but did not openly say that they were willing to meet guidelines.  When I voiced the same concern to T, his response was a consistent, "We think this is a fair offer."  T also pointed out that it is within the range that is stipulated in the paperwork that I received from the synod.

He's not quite correct in that statement.  You see, the paperwork asks for a range of "defined compensation."  Defined compensation includes salary, housing allowance and FICA.  It does not include pension and health insurance.  My defined compensation is well within the range that they've specified. 

The problem is that they're including the pension and health insurance in their understanding, adding approximately $18,000 to the total package.  (Congregations are required to pay for a pastor's entire family, BUT our family health insurance will be split between this congregation and Don's, when he finally gets a call.  That will actually cut their health insurance piece by about $7000.)  No matter how many attempts I made to explain this, T kept repeating his refrain, "We think this is a fair offer."

He also indicated that he'd spoken with the Assistant to the Bishop and, "She didn't indicate that there was a problem." 

I've left a message with her and am awaiting an opportunity to chat.  She's the one who sent me the message advising me not to sign a Letter of Call until the compensation package met guidelines.  At this point, I'm feeling confused.  I know that, no matter what we say, we have no control over what people actually hear; I'm wondering if T is simply refusing to acknowledge her concern because he thinks it's "a fair offer," or if the assistant is not advocating on my behalf.

I don't think it's a fair offer and, until they're willing to meet guidelines, I'm not willing to consider the call.  I also intend to let the Assistant to the Bishop know that I want to know their thoughts before we take a week's vacation to travel out there.  (We'd lose the vacation week because I'd like to visit them on a Sunday.)  Frankly, if they have no intention of meeting they synod guidelines, I'd just as soon not waste the vacation week.

A bit of background:  When I was interviewing for my current call, the council president indicated that I would not expect a full housing allowance included in my compensation because, after all, "Your husband will also be working and he has a parsonage."  Yeah, that went over like a lead balloon.  I immediately contacted the synod office, who (with my permission) let the congregation know that if they offered anything less than the guidelines, I was done with the process and would seek a call elsewhere.  They were also told that they would not receive any other candidates unless they were willing to meet the guidelines.  Since then, they've kept me within those guidelines.  Even as we struggle with a 30% deficit, no one has ever suggested that I receive less that the synod recommended compensation.  (I have, however, take a reduction in other benefits, such as my book allowance.)

I am accustomed to such support from my current bishop and am not comfortable with the notion of serving alongside a less supportive leader.

Friends, neighbors, sisters and brothers, please continue to keep me in prayer as I discern!  Frankly, I'm feeling rudderless right about now.